Kingdom Hearts Songs
by Gabriel Ice
Summary: New Songs: #7 is a parody of "No Place Like London" from Sweeney Todd, and #8 is a parody of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel
1. Mickey

Mickey (to the tune of Weird Al Yankovic's "Yoda," which is itself a parody of "Lola" by The Kinks)

I met him in the street back in Twilight TownWhere the sky is orange and the pavement is a little sticky, S-T-Icky sticky.  
I saw the little runt wearing nothing but black  
And when I asked him his name, in a squeaky voice he said, It's Mickey. It's M-m-m-Mickey

Well, I've been around, but I ain't ever found  
A guy who looks like a man with ears so giant and round  
Oh, my Mickey. M-m-m-m-Mickey.  
Well, I'm not dumb, but I can't understand  
How he can summon a Keyblade just by raising his hand  
Oh, my Mickey. M-m-m-m-Mickey.

Yeah, I started working just a week before  
And I've never ever seen a ninja before  
But Namine told me to do what I did  
I listened to Mickey and he showed me Yen Sid!  
'Cause I'm not the type who would argue with them  
And it looks like my journey's startin' over again  
With my Mickey. M-m-m-m-Mickey.

So I used my key  
I backslashed a box  
I crushed all the rocks  
Then flew in the air  
When my HP got low, I saw Mickey there

He said, Sora, stay away from the darker side  
And if you start to go astray let your heart be your guide.  
Oh, that Mickey. M-m-m-m-Mickey.  
I know that Riku's really got you cheesed  
But remember, you can't kill him 'cause the game's rated G  
So said Mickey. M-m-m-m-Mickey

I hear that Org XIII just captured my friends  
So I'm gonna have to go and save them again  
I know I'll win, yeah, of that, I'm sure-a  
'Cause this franchise makes a mega ton of money for Nomura

This long term contract I had to sign  
Says I'll be making these games untill the end of time  
With my Mickey. M-m-m-m-Mickey.


	2. Friendship Saga

Friendship Saga   
(with thanks to Don Mclean for such a wonderful original song and Weird Al for his Star Wars version)

A long, long time ago  
I could still remember how  
That Kairi used to make me laugh  
And I knew if I took my chance  
That she would join me in a dance  
And cuddle with me in the aftermath

But the Heartless made me tremble  
Broke up friendships I'd assembled  
Kairi turned up missing  
Then I thought, "What is this thing?"  
I can't recall what else I said  
When I first lifted my Keyblade  
And Traverse Town went to my head  
That's where I met these guys

Oh my, my, Goofy, Donald and I  
Though we're funny, with our Gummis  
We could learn how to fly  
We left our homes because we don't want to die  
Sayin', "Stick with me; we'll get through the night.  
Stick with me; we'll get through the night."

Would you eat a mushroom stew  
If when you did you found you grew  
Just what a growin' boy needs  
Or do you believe that the Heartless stole  
The withered heart of that crusty soul  
And can you teach me blizzard spells, pretty please?

Well, I know the Riku thinks she's cute  
'Cause I saw him picking out paopu fruit  
Yeah, we had ourselves a race  
And you shoulda seen his face

I was a prepubescent running ace  
And the minute Riku started off that race  
Well, I knew who would win first place  
Before I met my friends

Oh, my, my, Goofy, Donald, and I  
Though we're funny, with our Gummis  
We could learn how to fly  
We left our homes because we don't want to die  
Sayin', "These stupid shadows just wanna fight!  
How many more do we gotta fight?"

Now for ten worlds we were on our own  
We met friends with a jungle home  
And we swung through a lot of trees  
And Hercules fought for fame and glory  
While wearing a loincloth assumed _a priori_  
Because we landed somehow in ancient Greece

Oh, and while the rat was in a rush  
The jester stole his little crush  
It was the Cave of Wonders' turn  
But no princess was returned  
And as we read lots of mousy marks  
And treasure boxes' happy barks  
And Riku took the road to Dark  
I still stuck by my friends

We were singin'  
My, my, Goofy, Donald, and I  
Though we're funny, with our Gummis  
We could learn how to fly  
We left our homes because we don't want to die  
Sayin', "We should turn our hearts to the light.  
We should turn our hearts to the light."

Helter skelter, in the stomach's swelter  
Crashed our ship near Pinocchio's shelter  
Sneezed us out; now we're goin' faaaaast  
And we were all there under the sea  
Me craving lobster fricassee  
Or was that little loudmouth guy a crab?

The next town, it was far from cuddly  
And the makeup made my face look chubby  
The dead things tried to dance  
Oogie put us in a trance  
A pirate ship then took the field  
And we made sure we'd never yield  
Do you recall what was revealed?  
I found out with my friends

Oh my, my, Goofy, Donald, and I  
Though we're funny, with our Gummis  
We could learn how to fly  
We left our homes because we don't want to die  
Sayin', "So she was right here the whole time?"  
So she was right here the whole time…."

And then we made it to the castle  
Though just getting inside was a hassle  
With no time left to catch our breath  
Then Riku came and he took my Key  
And he stole my friends away from me  
Does this boy have any decency left?

And as I fought to reach his stage  
Alongside Beast, with fists of rage  
Although the trip felt longer  
My heart, it grew much stronger  
And as the flames arced through the silent night  
Fearsome look and deadly flight  
I saw Goofy laughing with delight  
My friends back by my side

We were singing  
My, my, Goofy, Donald, and I  
Though we're funny, with our Gummis  
We can learn how to fly  
We left our homes because we don't want to die  
Sayin', "Riku should have turned to the light.  
Riku should have turned to the light."

I met a girl with a pretty song  
I hadn't seen her in so long  
She just smiled and waved hello  
I knew that to save the girl  
I'd see the ending of the world  
Pay no ransom; I'd meet Ansem down below  
And in the depths, Behemoths screamed  
The demon died while Mussorgsky dreamed  
A lot of Heartless croakin'  
The main computer broken

And the King that I admire most  
We met behind the Heartless host  
And Ansem then gave up the ghost  
We did this all as friends

Oh my, my, Goofy, Donald, and I  
Though we're funny, with our Gummis  
We could learn how to fly  
We left our homes because we don't want to die  
Sayin', "Told you Kingdom Hearts, it was light.  
Told you Kingdom Hearts, it was light."

We were singing  
My, my, Riku, Kairi, and I  
Reunited, then divided, but at least no one died  
I went back home to see the beach and the sky  
And shared a paopu fruit with Kairi that night


	3. Crazy Monday

Crazy Monday  
(parody of the SNL skit Lazy Sunday, of course)

Crazy Monday  
Had to wake up in the mid to late morning  
Struck Goofy with a lightning spell  
Because he was snoring

Hello?  
What up, Goof?  
Yo, Donald, what's crackin'?  
You know who turned up missin'? (King Mickey!) Then it's happenin'!

But first we gotta save some girls while the cricket keeps a diary  
Me and Goofy are the warriors while poor Sora macks on Kairi  
We take along that kid for some Heartless smashin'  
We love that Keyblade like Aladdin loves Jasmine

Two, no six, no twelve, baker's dozen!  
These stupid shadow Heartless just keep on comin'!

Yo, where's the bad guy hidin'?  
Hollow Bastion, dude  
So we hit up RPGamer just to find the dopest route  
I prefer 1up (That's a good one, too)  
GameFAQs is the best (True that) (Double true!)

Far end of the map (Step on it, Goofy!)  
Fire Gummi Cannons! Make the Heartless go POOFY!

The chronic (what?) search for Sora's friends  
Yes, the chronic (what?) search for Sora's friends  
We love the chronic (what?) search for Sora's friends  
Pass that chronic (what?) search for Sora's friends

Yo, stop at Traverse Town—gotta forge a new weapon  
This level zero shield just ain't very threatenin'  
Don't want the Heartless foes to get all disruptive  
Myst'ry Goo plus Gale equals crazy destructive!

Swing it around, Sora; that's what it's fo'  
Moogle acted like it's never seen an Ultima befo'  
As I walk away, I hum a tune by Duke Ellington  
Pack our weapons in the bag, and we're _Ghost_ like Jack Skellington

Roll up to the castle, and Maleficent is packin'  
You can call us Greg Focker from the way we're puffin' dragons   
Packed in the throne room, Riku's the illest   
We think he'll say hi, but instead he tries to kill us

Sora beat him so fast it was scary  
Stole the Keyblade back like Kate Winslet from Carrey

We make sure Ansem's end is tragic  
We find the king and save this dream world of magic!

The chronic (what?) search for Sora's friends  
Yes, the chronic (what?) search for Sora's friends  
We love the chronic (what?) search for Sora's friends  
Pass that chronic (what?) search for Sora's friends


	4. The Organization Song

The Organization Song (a parody of The Stonecutters from _The Simpsons_)

Who controls the Disney crown?  
Who keeps the magic system down?  
We do! We do!

Who keeps our castle off the maps?  
Who keeps the Heartless under wraps?  
We do! We do!

Who moves around in a Gummi-powered car?  
Who makes that Donald twerp... see stars?  
We do! We do!

Who robbed Xigbar of his sight?  
Who cheats in the Sephiroth fight?  
We do!  
We do!

Who makes Axel see bright red?  
Who makes Larxene kill you dead?  
We do! We do!

Who pays Vexen by the hour?  
Who locks Namine in our tower?  
We do! We do!

Who makes sure all our hair is poofy?  
Who beat up on that annoying dog Goofy?  
We do! We do!

Who thinks Mickey's made of spit?  
Who kills Riku in one hit?  
We do!

We do!


	5. See My Cloak

See My Cloak

See my cloak, see my cloak  
Made from silk and poison oak  
Feel this chakra  
Coming at ya  
And in your blood be soaked

Like this Heartless?  
Think it artless?  
So fearsome yet so smartless  
See Lexaeus built like rhinos  
(Though we think Xigbar's a wino)

We've got flair  
And pointy hair  
And we think Demyx is a square  
The whole caboodle oodles violence 'till you croak

Try this here paopu fruit  
(Tasty and poised, woot!)  
And see my cloak, see my cloak, see my cloak

Axel bluffs, Marluxia fluffs, all while Saix sits on his duff  
But deep down we're all a bunch of friendly folks!  
And if you think that's true I'll sell a bridge to you  
But see my cloak

See my cloak

First please, won't you see my clooooooak!


	6. Castle Oblivion Ladies' Man

Castle Oblivion Ladies' Man (parody of "Rock Me, Amadeus" by Falco)

I was a punk  
Living in the giant tower  
Oblivion's the castle  
Where I spent every hour

I've got spiky hair and a tomahawk  
And the ladies oughta love me  
That's why I say  
Come on and rock me, I'm Lexaeus

I'm Lexaeus, I'm Lexaeus  
I'm Lexaeus, I'm Lexaeus  
I'm Lexaeus, I'm Lexaeus  
I'm Lexaeus, I'm Lexaeus  
Oooooh, I'm Lexaeus

I was super tall  
I made Zexion look small  
I had muscles so hard  
And a nice a Warp Break card  
If you can't face these facts  
Then you can kiss my axe

And I'll say  
Come on and rock me, I'm Lexaeus  
I'm Lexaeus, I'm Lexaeus  
I'm Lexaeus, I'm Lexaeus  
I'm Lexaeus, I'm Lexaeus  
I'm Lexaeus, I'm Lexaeus  
Oooooh, I'm Lexaeus

It was a year ago  
It was at Radiant Garden  
(Unlike with Larxene  
Who was a prison warden)  
Then the accident happened  
Heartless invasion began  
They got to me fifth  
Now I'm a Nobody ladies' man

And I'm Lexaeus, I'm Lexaeus  
I'm Lexaeus, I'm Lexaeus  
I'm Lexaeus, I'm Lexaeus  
I'm Lexaeus, I'm Lexaeus

Oooooh, I'm Lexaeus


	7. No Place Like Traverse Town

No Place Like Traverse Town

I have explored the seas

And the Cave of Wonders

Seen the Coliseum

And the jungle of Tarzan

But there's no place like Traverse Town

No, there's no place like Traverse Town

There's a hole in the sky like a garbage pit

And the souls of the worlds now inhabit it

Where the bands of rebels are tightly knit

And it goes by the name of Traverse Town

And the Heartless crawl through the streets' debris

Turning into a knight when the clock strikes three

On the innocents' hearts they feed

I too have scaled the heights of Hollow Bastion

I've been swallowed by a whale, gotten lost in Wonderland

But there's no place like Traverse Town

I beg your indulgence; my quest is far from easy

For in the once familiar streets I see a flock of

ghastly shadows everywhere

Forgive me

There was an island I called home

And it was beautiful

I knew a girl back at home

She is the reason that I roam

And she was beautiful, and she was paradise

And I was naïve

There was another boy who saw

That she was beautiful

So when she vanished in the storm

And when the islands were transformed

He tossed our friendship to the side

And took a villain as his guide

But she was gone

So soft

So young

So lost and oh so beautiful

The girl, sir, was she ever found?

Her whereabouts might surprise you

As they did me when I found out

There's a hole in the sky like a great black pit

And it is filled with people who don't know when to quit

And the name of that place is Traverse Town


	8. Keyblade Master for Hire

Keyblade Master for Hire (parody of "We Didn't Star the Fire" by Billy Joel)

Sora, Kairi, Yen Sid; Riku's such an emo kid  
Goofy causes violence; Fat Bandit's kinda tricky

Leon's former name is Squall; Wakka throws a blitzball  
Destiny Islands; Chicken Little, King Mickey!

Blizzard Lord, Divine Rose; stranger in a black robe  
Chip and Dale, the Phil Cup; Donald is an angry duck

Aerith's back with Yuffie; little fairy YRP  
Xemnas is the man in black; get up on the Hydra's back!

Keyblade Master for hire  
With his magic, peerless  
And the Keyblade, fearless  
Keyblade Master for hire  
And he does his part, this  
Means he fights the Heartless  
Power Crystals dropped by Wyverns; black and white at Timeless River

Barbarossa, Scar's a ghost-a; Princesses of Heart  
Singing Tron, Dancing Tron; Oathkeeper, Oblivion

Storm Rider, Mulan; Namine does art  
Seifer, Fujin, Raijin; Sanctuary, Simple, Clean

Hayner, Pence, Peter Pan; Halloween Town, Disneyland  
Hanging posters, Bumble Buster; Radiant Garden lost its luster

Princess Alice, little girl; trouble in the Underworld  
Keyblade Master for hire

With his magic, peerless  
And the Keyblade, fearless  
Keyblade Master for hire  
He'll save lots of people  
In this awesome sequel

Ed, Shenzi, Banzai; Piglet's just a little guy  
Pooh can't get his honey back; Eeyore is a sad sack

Wonderland, Tarzan; Setzer's sneaky Struggle plan  
Agrabah, finny fun; Xigbar brought a rack of guns

Belle, Beast, and Lumiere; too much gel in Sora's hair  
Cid is the airship fixer; Orichalcum, Megalixer

Coliseum, Shadow Stalker; Xaldin's a prolific talker  
Will Turner, Sparrow's ransom; I can't believe it wasn't Ansem

Keyblade Master for hire  
With his magic, peerless  
And the Keyblade, fearless  
Keyblade Master for hire  
A PS2 sensation  
Fight the Organization

Hercules, Roxas dreamin'; Haley Osment, Crispin Freeman  
Sea salt ice cream can't be beat; Twilight Town and Steamboat Pete

Shadows and Nobody Lancers; Demyx and his Water Dancers  
Cosmic Belt, Buster Band; Simba in the Pride Lands

Gummi Ship shoot 'em up; Sora wins the Hades Cup  
Train fare and money hassles; Thousand Heartless storm the castle

Keyblade Master for hire  
With his magic, peerless  
And the Keyblade, fearless  
Keyblade Master for hire  
With controls so friendly  
Unlike Chain of Memories

Luxord bets high and low; Axel is a pyro  
Tifa seeks a lost love; Oogie Boogie's filled with bugs

Al and Genie and Abu; Jasmine and Jafar, too  
Sora's in the PC; Sark works for the MCP

Auron tells a story; Skellington is gory  
Simba, Minnie, Evil Vivi; Ansem watching on a TV

Pumbaa's wild, Timon is tamer; Seifer really owned those lamers  
Friends bring hope when all seems lost; vehementi Sephiroth!

Keyblade Master for hire  
With his magic, peerless  
With the Keyblade, fearless  
Keyblade Master for hire  
And with the sequel pending  
Watch the bonus ending

Keyblade Master for hire...


End file.
